In the modern world people are increasingly faced with loneliness. Exerci identified common causes that lead to this. If you’re not in a relationship – you lost them, they collapsed for any reason, or you did not realize that in principle – this text is for you.
About what causes loneliness and how to deal with it, says psychologist Roman Melnichenko edition of “New time”.
Why are people lonely? Most clients who come with this problem were women. Often they claim that they just no suitable men – all the good dismantled. These women tell stories from your experience or experience of friends. But everything they said, shows that loneliness is their conscious choice.
Why do you hold on to your loneliness
The first thing you can be lonely and emotional trauma of childhood. You are avoiding real intimacy, because you’re in pain. So in communicating with the person you are beforehand set between the two of you. You don’t enter into a relationship, are not at risk.
Another reason that you are alone, can be experienced in past sexual violence, emotional violence or harassment. If you beat father, or husband, if your partner is emotionally suppressed you if you have experienced sexual abuse in childhood – you are alone. If you have not worked through the trauma and if you don’t take responsibility for something, to process something from this list, the reboot will not happen.
The third reason is the negative experience of the first sexual relations. If the first relationship or first love was tragic, and you have not worked, it will affect the rest of his life. Our mind instinctively is to compare new experiences with previous ones, to try to old experience what works now.
The fourth reason is the negative life scripts. It so happens that you have in mind, either implicitly or explicitly present, for example, the belief that all men are assholes, all men need one, or all women are fools, all women need only one.
Fifth cause of loneliness is repressed sexuality. The reasons may be different, but in any case, repressed sexuality leads to the fact that relations there.
How to change the situation?
You need to take responsibility for your life and start to work out all these problems. Only after you will find out, for that alone, you will be able to change your choice. You will be alone, until they do not change internally. For this you need to make an effort and release all the previous negative experience.
Recall that the Europeans EN masse to choose alone: psychologists have explained why, and who is to blame.
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